Love Blooms Even In Pain
by Chaisher Hill
Summary: Kyoya has his issues. Tamaki has his. Will the love they have become enough to heal them both?


A/N: I do not own any of the OHSHC characters. Also this chapter contains graphic self-harm and suggestion of rape, as well as boy on boy action. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 1

Tamaki took a deep breath trying to steady his hands and pressed the small blade harder against his wrist, tears falling and mixing with the crimson blood spilling from the other already open cuts. Several strait red lines ran across his arms all the way up to his elbows; some fresh and bleeding, some scabbed, and some closed to becoming scars. The one thing he could actually do that had the look of being perfect. Everything in his world, seemed off in some way, never good enough to be called perfect, but these crimson and pink lines, they were strait, deep, painful, and perfectly spaced. He smirked looking at the blood run down. The only perfect thing he could ever do, and no one would ever be able to see it.

He shifted and set the blade on the counter beside the sink, turning on the water and running his arms under it. He hissed and forced himself not to yank his arm away from the cold water when it stung. After he had thoroughly rinsed the cuts and stopped the bleeding he bound them tight with the cotton gauze he kept hidden in the small medicine cabinet. His phone buzzed as he was cleaning the small razor blade. Sighing he shifted and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Tamaki answered trying to emulate his usual sing song tone.

"It's me, you idiot, you don't have to pretend," Kyoya responded, his own tone sounding less than happy. He knew of Tamaki's depression, but not the cuts. He didn't know of them, nor that had the small first aid lessons he had given Tamaki a while back been for Tamaki's bandaging his own self-inflicted wounds.

"Oh, hey Kyoya, what do you need?" Tamaki responded, going out to his bedroom and searching for a clean shirt. He always wore long sleeve shirts or jackets that covered the cuts and scars; even when he chose to dress up for the club he used makeup or fabric to cover the cuts.

It was in response to that question, coming from the king of the host club, the man who could do and get anything he wanted so long as he didn't try to take his father's company before he was told to, the Kyoya broke, "I-I need yo-ou to come get me . . ."

"Where are you. I'll be there as soon as I can." Tamaki stated. He hated hearing his best friend hurting, but Kyoya was the man he loved more than anything and even if he didn't like the nick name Kyoya was the mommy to Tamaki's daddy within their small family; the only family either one of them could really turn to.

"I-I'm at home . . . in my room. I'll have to get out through the window though . . . he's been drinking Tamaki. Help me!" Kyoya cringed when he heard the desperation in his own voice. He hated being weak, but at least he knew Tamaki wouldn't judge him for it. Tamaki was the one person he knew wouldn't judge him for anything.

"Lock the door. Pack a bag. And be ready in fifteen minutes. You're staying here tonight and if you want tomorrow night too," there was a dark edge to his voice something that wasn't normal for Tamaki.

 _BANG! BANG! BANG!_ The pounding on the door made Kyoya wince every time. His father screamed from the other side of the slab of solid oak. Then came the most terrifying sound, silence. Until the sound of a key sliding into the lock of Kyoya's door broke the silence.

Kyoya dove for cover as the door slammed open and the head maid of the estate was thrown into the wall behind a very agitated Mr. Ootori who stepped into the younger man's bedroom.

"Up. Now." He spoke, his voice not slurred by the alcohol he had been downing since he got home.

Silently Kyoya obeyed and stood from behind his bed, his eyes glued to the carpeted floor. The sound of a car pulling into the drive outside the open window caught both of their attentions. Kyoya took the moment of distraction to shift and dive out of his room, grabbing his backpack and running down the hall, then the stairs and to the front door.

"Get back here!" Kyoya's father screamed, only a few steps behind him, until his older brother stepped between them, shoving Kyoya out the door towards the waiting town car and Tamaki within.

"No. You've beaten both you're oldest sons out of this house and I won't let you do it to Kyoya too," snarled the middle Ootori son with a glare, setting his stance against his father.

"MOVE"

But Kyoya and Tamaki were already gone; the car speeding out of the drive and down the street. The old man simply turned and walked back to his office to drink some more. His sons, all of them had been a disgrace and would be for the rest of their lives in his eyes.

"Shh . . . I'm right here . . . I've got you . . . Shh . . ." Tamaki shifted, hugging the black haired man close to his chest, trying to sooth his shaking.

Kyoya simply let himself be held and tried to calm down. Every time his father drank he feared for his life, his sanity, but mostly he feared for his safety. It had only been about a month since the incident . . . his father had come home late from drinking and made a beeline for Kyoya's room. The youngest Ootori boy was the only one still living at home and thus the only one still there to torment. When he opened the door Kyoya was half sleep with the blonde Suoh boy in the bed as well. The man yanked is son from the bed and drug him to his office, screaming about if he was going to sleep with a man he needed to be one. Tamaki had woken from the sudden movement of the bed and Kyoya's startled cry.

The door to the office was slammed and locked. Kyoya's pajama pants were ripped from his body. He shook, not wanting to fight back, too shocked in fear as his chest was slammed onto the desk top with a shove and he was pinned there by a firm hand on his neck. Tears rolled down his face and onto the pine. The sound of his father removing his own pants caused him to shiver.

The door slammed open moments later, but all Kyoya's senses could register was the pain in his ass and the removal of pressure on his neck. He slumped to the floor shaking and crying. He could barely register the sound of a struggle and his father screaming.

A pair of strong slender arms slipped around him and scooped him up and carried him out of the office, down the hall and outside the manor completely. He was placed into the same back seat he was now sitting in. Held by the same pair of sliced and bandaged arms (though he didn't know of the cuts). Slowly the memory faded and Kyoya shifted to sit up, looking into the beautiful purple eyes of the one man he couldn't live without.

". . . . Thank you" Kyoya said wiping the tears from his face.

"Anytime Mommy," Tamaki smiled.

Kyoya would be out of the shower any minute; he had to find a shirt or hoodie or something fast! Tamaki sighed and panicked not finding anything. He couldn't let his best friend see the bandages or the cuts. The shower shut off, "Damn it!"

Kyoya could hear Tamaki mumbling and searching for something out in the main room as he dried off. Once he slipped on his pajama pants and a t-shirt he opened the bathroom door to something he didn't want to see. Bandages; thick, white, tightly wrapped bandages wrapped from Tamaki's wrist to his elbows.

"What the hell are those about?!" Kyoya asked looking at the blond.

Tamaki sighed and slumped onto his bed, "I didn't want you to know about this . . . You've got enough problems. You don't need me to add to it.

"You idiot," Kyoya walked over to the half-dressed man and sat beside him, gently lifting his left arm, "You know these are way too tight. Can you even feel your fingers?"

"Not really no . . ."

Kyoya sighed and shifted, carefully removing the bandages to reveal about twenty perfectly strait horizontal cuts in various states of healing lining the blonde's arm. He shifted looking up once again into the velvet purple eyes now, brimming with tears. 'This is it. He needs you. You can do this.' Kyoya thought. He looked back to Tamaki's arm, resting in his lap. He gently lifted it once more and place a gentle kiss to each of the newest cuts, then looked back to Tamaki and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Tamaki stared at his friend; his heart was pounding and he couldn't hold back anymore but he was frozen in his place. He shifted nervously.

Kyoya reached over and took Tamaki's right arm and undid the bandages on that one too; placing a kiss on each of the new cuts on that arm too, "Why did you do this to yourself?"

"It's the only thing I can ever get perfect," Tamaki blurted without a second thought of who he was talking to; the man who needed to be perfect to even think of pleasing his father.

Kyoya shifted closer and carefully pulled the injured man into his lap, "You idiot. You are perfect. You're beautiful. You're incredibly talented. You're passionate. You care deeply about anyone and everyone you call a friend. Tamaki, you are perfect." Kyoya shifted, taking a deep breath and leaned forward closing the small gap between them and kissing the blond deeply and lovingly.

Tamaki froze. Kyoya was . . . kissing him. This had to be a dream. He'd cut just a little too much and passed out again. He was dreaming. This couldn't be real, but ah even if it wasn't he moved and kissed back.

After a moment the burning need for oxygen in both of their lungs pulled them apart. They stared at each other breathing a little heavily. This was definitely real.

". . . Did . . . you mean all of that?"

"Every word. You've always been perfect to me," Kyoya said lightly brushing a golden lock of hair from Tamaki's face, and placing a gentle kiss on his lips once more.

Tamaki stared at him, tears in his eyes threatening to fall. He shifted on Kyoya's lap, placing a knee on either side of him, straddling the black haired man and laying his head on Kyoya's shoulder. He stayed there.

"You're beautiful and sweet. Kind and loving. Everything about you is perfect . . . Daddy." Kyoya spoke the name with a gentle whisper into Tamaki's ear. He smiled as he felt Tamaki inhale sharply and curl his hands into Kyoya's hair.

"I love you, Kyoya" Tamaki said as he sat up and looked into the crystal grey eyes.

"I love you too. I have for a while. I just haven't had the courage to tell you."

The next morning Kyoya woke first with Tamaki's head nestled under his chin. He smiled and pulled the blond closer to him. He loved this crazy eccentric and egotistical, but perfect man.

Tamaki stirred and started to wake opening his beautiful violet blue eyes after a yawn. He smiled and let his hand clench a small bit of Kyoya's night shirt.

"Good morning," Kyoya smiled running a hand down the blond's back to let it rest on his ass.

"Mmm . . . Morning" Tamaki mumbled as he shifted as close as possible without climbing on top of Kyoya.

"How did you sleep?" Kyoya asked as he relished the feeling of Tamaki so close.

"Better than any night since I left France," Tamaki said as he moved up to kiss the taller man.

Kyoya kissed him back and gently squeezed his ass, smiling into the kiss.

Tamaki moaned a little feeling Kyoya's squeeze and shifted to slip his own hand into Kyoya's pajama pants and rub at his dick.

"Ohhhh . . ." Kyoya broke their kiss to let out a breathy note of pleasure at Tamaki's actions; although his quickly hardening erection was probably proof enough that he was enjoying this.

Tamaki smiled, "Mmm . . . I guess you've wanted me for a while too huh?" He shifted his hand to cup and toy with Kyoya's balls causing him to tense momentarily then relax completely as his now rock hard dick twitched with wanting.

Kyoya pulled Tamaki's hand from his pants and pulled the blond up on top of him, kissing him deeply, desperately wanting to make love to him. Tamaki winced at the grip on his wrist but that was quickly replaced by a moan when Kyoya pressed his hips down and bucked his own up to cause a wonderful friction as their erections moved against each other.

"I want you so bad," Kyoya said breathing heavy and leaning up to kiss Tamaki's neck.

"Then take me," came the reply after a moment or two.

Kyoya moaned and quickly rolled them over, pulling off Tamaki's pants, then undressing himself and kissing Tamaki deeper, "Are you sure?" Kyoya knew the pain that came when to men made love, but he also knew from Kaoru and Hikaru's many stories of their own sexual adventures that it went away after a few minutes and became overwhelming pleasure.

Tamaki shifted beneath Kyoya and reached over to the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube. He handed it to Kyoya with a smile before turning over, "I love you. Yes I'm sure."

"I love you too." Kyoya shifted closer and carefully lifted the blond's hips. He coated his length and Tamaki's whole with the lube before carefully pressing the tip of his member in.

Tamaki hissed in pain as Kyoya pushed in a little more then stopped.

"Are you ok love?" Kyoya bent forward over Tamaki and lightly kissed his neck trying to comfort him some.

"Just . . . Be gentle. . ."

Tamaki sounded on the brink of tears which made Kyoya's heart wrench even still he pushed in the rest of the way as gently as possible. He stayed just like that, the tight heat around his already throbbing cock was almost enough to make him cum right then and there, but he took a deep breath and calmed himself instead waiting for Tamaki to tell him it was ok for him to move.


End file.
